I'm Cathlynn, but for the sake of simplicity I have gone by Cat since I was very small. I am an ardent supporter of simplicity in most things.
My relationship with Memphis is and has always been tenuous at best and bitter at worst, though by means of age and experience I am learning to appreciate the few things here that are very dear to me. Interestingly enough, almost none of them are things I would have expected to hold dear when I was younger. I moved to Memphis in 1996. It was summer then, though the oppressive humidity was paltry compared to my birthplace of Houston, Texas. My mother and our side of the family are from here, so she made the decision to relocate my younger sister and me in the wake of some life decisions gone sour. I graduated from White Station in 2003 and though at the time I longed for a more "refined" private school education, in retrospect I could not have been better suited anywhere else. I still believe that school is one of the few grade schools in the city or county where you will not be questioned or berated for using A People's History of the United States as supplemental material for your American History textbook - I never was (Rest in Peace, Howard). I left Memphis when I was 19 and moved to Indianapolis, where I remained until this past July when I was lured home by the shiny carrot of free tuition courtesy of my parents' grave concern with my "5 year plan" celebrating it's 7th birthday.
I'm going to be honest - I've never liked Memphis. That is not to say that I do not appreciate some aspects of this city and its effect on my upbringing, for I most certainly do. However, I simply don't enjoy living here. When pressed for details, the first thing that comes to mind is the unique brand of passive-aggressive racism. I imagine that you are raising your finger in indignant protest. Put your hand down, please. Let's call a spade a spade, shall we? It is neither pretty nor pleasant to talk about, I get that. Few people here will openly admit to being any shade of prejudiced. However, if I had a nickel for every time I've heard someone within city limits utter the phrase "I'm not racist, but..." I could have rendered unto Indiana University what is Indiana University's, and continued to post up in the 46208. There is something in the drinking water here that not only makes it delicious, but also makes its drinkers particularly adept at the art of blame-shifting. It's 2010 and we still whisper the word "black", lock our car doors when we find ourselves south of Highland, and feel sorry for those "poor, oppressed" women in hijab we see in the mall. But it's "totally not our fault. If people would just stop living up to stereotypes..."
There are things about living here that I enjoy however. I like that it takes 20 minutes to get almost anywhere in the city, as long as you don't plan to take 240 between the hours of 3 and 6pm. I like that in all my travels around this marvelous country, I have yet to find Vietnamese food that even comes close to touching Pho Hoa Binh. I like that even after being away for 4 years, the family who owns that establishment remembered me when I came back. I like that even amongst negative civil relations, political corruption and other disappointing products of humanity, we have a hospital that refuses to turn away any child and his or her family for any reason. I like to think that St. Jude, in addition to performing miracles of health and science, also tips the karmic scales in our favor every now and again. I like that we are blessed with a rich cultural and political history, even if we sometimes forget that history is only useful if we learn from it. I like our unofficial culinary motto of "If you can eat it, we can fry it." Actually, change that to love/hate. And I suppose that along with all of these, I love that even if I haven't always liked Memphis itself, I've liked that it's where home is.
All I hope to get our of this class this semester is an opportunity to see why other people love it here so much, and perhaps also to share what makes it bearable for me as well.
When you said "my parents grave concern about my five year plan celebrating its seventh year" I laughed so loud I woke my parents up. Your right of course in saying that every one is a little racist, that's just the way life goes. We grow up with these stereotypes about others races we obtain through our parents and others and even our own perceptions at times.
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